Can Purell be used as lube?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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