Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
