and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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