omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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