He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
