Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
she told me i tasted like america
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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