ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
