I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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