some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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