I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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