Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
