awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
