dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
