I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
