Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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