I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize