shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
True but thats because hes a fetus.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
