Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
