Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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