Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize