It was confusing and full of hummus
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
