ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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