So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
In America we eat man semen.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
