you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
