During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
don't judge my taste in strippers
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
