Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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