He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
