shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Woke up backwards on a recliner
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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