even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
