You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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