wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
