I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize