spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
