I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
