I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
