Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
