Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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