So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you will always have a special place in my vag
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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