i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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