Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Sorry about my life...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
