I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
