I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
