Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
