He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
