the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize