dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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