I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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