if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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