You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm always down for nudity.
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