In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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