What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
now i know why i became what i already was.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
