Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
