Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
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