Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
