I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
