I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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