My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize