Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize