Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
