She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Randomize
