Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
