I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
