the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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