i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
