i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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