I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
